What is a father?

Redux

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.

Last year for Father’s Day I wrote the following:

What is it to be a father?

A father is a man who takes responsibility for his children.

What is a man?

A man is someone who takes responsibility for himself.

I think this is still mostly correct. I want to clarify a bit further. I think I meant to say that a father is more than just a man. He is a man first, able to take responsibility for himself. Then he extends his influence to take responsibility for his children.

My argument here is that to be father, one must first be a man.

Now obviously a male can mate with a female have children. If the male is unable to take responsibility for himself, if he can’t stand on his own two feet, if he cannot discipline his own life, if he can’t make his own way, he’s not really a man. He has no business making a child.

One can be a man, able to take responsibility for oneself, but not be willing to take on the responsibility for one’s children. Thus, a man can have a child but not be a father if he is unwilling to take on the responsibility for his children. Obviously most adult males can be a father in the biological sense, but that is not the sense in which I use the word.

Being a father is a profound responsibility, and one of life’s great privileges. Life’s great privileges are always bound up with great responsibilities.

More to be said, maybe next year.

Pic above is one I took of my father while we were kayaking a few years ago. I admire my father more than any other man, and I am the man I am today because of him and his example.