RWL #260
identity trumps goals, celebrating the advance of liberal democracy, assertiveness, and more!
Greetings from the University of New Hampshire! Winter in New Hampshire is long. You have to embrace it and find the beauty in it. Embracing it involves both finding a way to get out in it, as well as enjoying snuggling up inside and listening to the wind blow as the snow falls. Last weekend, shortly after I sent out last week’s RWL, my wife and I headed up to Jackson, NH in the White Mountains. We stayed at the Eagle Mountain House, one of the few “grand hotels” left in New England. It felt like being transported back to a previous time - to include waking up in the morning to find the pipes were frozen and we didn’t have water! It was -10 degrees F when we woke up (outside - not in the room). (The water was fixed within a few hours, thankfully.) Along with some college friends, we snowshoed up Eagle Mountain, which was something our friends had done before, but we had never done. It was a very cool adventure - I have to admit I slide down some parts of the trail on my rear on the way back. Controlled chaos. Pic above is of my wife catching her breath as we approached the summit. You can literally see her breath because it was a balmy 8 degrees by that time. We’ve committed to trying to do more of this sort of thing each winter. But today we are happy to be snug inside the LHH because a blizzard is blowing up around us. We’re expecting up to 20 inches of snow today, and the wind is whipping it around. So we’re happy to be inside, warm and dry.
Earlier this week I finished reading James Clear’s excellent Atomic Habits. There are lots of good tips and ideas in this book, but I think the overarching idea he has is that you have to reframe your behavior away from pursuing goals and towards pursuing identities. Identities trump goals. By that, what I (and he) mean is instead of setting a goal of losing 25 pounds (me), I should create an identity of being a healthy person. Then, when I am tempted to get the double cheeseburger with extra large fries and of course I’ll take the 24 ounce beer, I would ask myself, “Is this what a healthy person eats?” to which the obvious answer is no. From p. 39 of the book he talks about creating new identities:
New identities require new evidence. If you keep casting the same votes you’ve always cast, you’re going to get the same results you’ve always had. If nothing changes, nothing is going to change. It is a simple two-step process:
Decide the type of person you want to be.
Prove it to yourself with small wins.
Most of the rest of the book involves tips and tricks to help you develop these better-you identities. It’s a light, fun read. My wife read it with me and we talked about how she does a lot of them already. (She’s much smarter than me, and makes me a better person. This is a short-cut habit - marry someone smarter than you!)
And now, on to the links!
(PS - 260! That’s officially 5 years worth of RWLs!)
(PPS - thanks for the likes and comments - it keeps me motivated!)
Read
What: Our World In Data, 200 years ago, everyone lacked democratic rights. Now, billions of people have them
https://ourworldindata.org/democratic-rights
Why: [this article is focused on a couple of graphs worth looking at]
I have to admit, the last several years have been depressing to me. There has been a rise of authoritarian populism on the Right and Left in America, and with the pandemic, people seem to be drifting away from the liberal (i.e., classical liberal, not Progressive) values that are the foundation of our country (life, liberty, pursuit of happiness). Pile on top of that an increasingly aggressive communist authoritarian government on the move in China to make the world safer for their unique brand of oppression, and Russia poised to attack Ukraine… it all seems like the liberal experiment that was born in 1776 is coming to an end, and was perhaps pointless to begin with.
But! It’s useful to dial back the intellectual macroscope and see the world in centuries, not years when I start to feel like this. And this graphical article is just what the doctor ordered. 200 years ago, no one lived in a liberal democracy. Today, a fraction of people live in liberal democracies, but the difference between zero and some is actually infinite, not just a little. What we want, what the United States should stand for and re-commit to, is being a model, example, and supporter of the advance of liberal democracy across the world. We should be unapologetic about it because everyone, everywhere, in every time, deserves to be able to direct their own lives - to pursue their own happiness.
As Martin Luther King, Jr. reminded us, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”
**
What: The Art of Manliness, Quit Being a Pushover: How to Be Assertive
https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/how-to-be-assertive/
Why: I’m often not as assertive as I wish. And it leaves me feeling … resentful. I saw this article referenced in Gail Golden’s book, so I thought I would share it. A quote:
At first blush, Nice Guys seem like saints. They appear generous, flexible, and extremely polite. But if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll often find a helpless, anxious, and resentful core…
Being assertive does not mean being a jerk.
When you’re assertive, you are direct and honest with people. You don’t beat around the bush or expect people to read your mind about what you want. If something is bothering you, you speak up; if you want or need something, you ask. You do all this while maintaining a calm and civil demeanor.
If you feel like you let yourself get walked on too often, this is worth a read.
**
Watch
What: AEI, Roosevelt Montás on ‘Rescuing Socrates’ & the future of liberal education (60 min)
Why: Roosevelt Montás is senior lecturer at Columbia University's Center for American Studies and director of its Freedom and Citizenship Program, which introduces low-income high school students to the Western political tradition through the study of foundational texts. In this video, Montas talks about how studying the Great Books helped him, as a poor immigrant from the Domenican Republic, to succeed and lead a more meaningful life. He uses the quote from Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living” and says that it is examining one’s life that gives it meaning.
**
Listen
What: Wisdom From The Top with Guy Raz, Radical Candor: Kim Scott (54 minutes)
https://www.npr.org/2022/01/24/1075352367/radical-candor-kim-scott
Why: A lot that is worth listening to here about how to communicate effectively, but the thing I particularly liked was her discussion about rock stars vs. super stars. A rock star is someone who is really good at their current job and who doesn’t really want to be promoted, they just want to be really good at what they do. A super star is someone who is really good and also really ambitious and wants to be a leader. Her argument is you need both, but you have to treat them differently.
**
What: HBR IdeaCast, Why Companies Should Stop Political Spending Now (26 min)
Why: A convincing discussion of why companies should not engage in political spending. The speakers point out that it often leads to a conflict between the company’s stated goals (“end racism”, “health equity”, “family values”, etc.) and who they support with political donations. They focus on companies with Woke messaging which then support conservative politicians, but clearly this is a systemic issue because it’s just as easy to have the messaging and support flip. My feeling is companies ought to stick to their knitting and neither make political statements nor political donations. Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s right. A good place to start with corporate social responsibility would be to not get involved in politics.
Thanks for reading and see you next week! If you come across any interesting stories, won't you send them my way? I'd love to hear what you think of these suggestions, and I'd love to get suggestions from you. Feel free to drop me a line at mark.bonica@unh.edu , or you can tweet to me at @mbonica .
If you’re looking for a searchable archive, you can see my draft folder here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1jwGLdjsb1WKtgH_2C-_3VvrYCtqLplFO?usp=sharing
Finally, if you find these links interesting, won’t you tell a friend? They can subscribe here: https://markbonica.substack.com/welcome
See you next week!
Mark
Mark J. Bonica, Ph.D., MBA, MS
Associate Professor
Department of Health Management and Policy
University of New Hampshire
(603) 862-0598
mark.bonica@unh.edu
Health Leader Forge Podcast:
http://healthleaderforge.org
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” – Pablo Picaso